Blimey's

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Blimey's

Where Corporate Policy becomes Comedic Gold

An animated series that exposes the beautiful absurdity of retail life through the lens of a quirky auto parts store. Think "Lower Decks" energy with "Clerks" chaos and a distinctly Canadian sense of humor.

If "Rick and Morty" and the "Office" had a baby in an "AutoZone" (we totally have no permission to use these names and expect a lawsuit soon)

Explore the Chaos

The Concept

Follow the misadventures of an eccentric crew working at Blimey's Parts & Wrecks, where every day brings new corporate mandates, impossible customer requests, and the kind of workplace comedy that makes you laugh to keep from crying. It's a satirical love letter to everyone who's ever worked retail and wondered if the corporate overlords have lost their minds.

🎯 Corporate BS Generator

Generate realistic corporate mandates straight from Nigel Pemberton's playbook:

Click the button to generate corporate wisdom...
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🎊 STORE OF THE YEAR! 🎊

$6 MILLION IN SALES • TOP PERFORMING LOCATION

*Despite everything you just witnessed

📞 "Rock the Call" Protocol

Answer within 3 rings OR ELSE. Corporate tracks this during rush hour when you're helping 5 customers and all 8 phone lines are ringing. Mystery shoppers call during Black Friday.

💰 Low Price Guarantee Nightmare

Promise to match any competitor's price without actually knowing what our prices are. Policy changes daily. Nobody knows how it works, including management.

👥 "Optimized" Staffing

Corporate cuts labor to 3 people during the busiest day of the year. Expects same performance metrics as fully-staffed shifts. Physics doesn't apply to retail.

🔍 Mystery Shopper Madness

Corporate sends secret shoppers during the worst possible moments to test impossible policies. They always call when you're literally on fire.

🤬 Customer Chaos

"I need brakes for my Ford." "What year, model, and trim?" "Uh… it's blue." This happens 47 times per day. Blue is not a model.

📊 Impossible Metrics

Track call response time, customer satisfaction, sales targets, and bathroom breaks simultaneously while being understaffed. Math is apparently optional.

Meet The Crew

"Based on 9 months of frontline auto parts retail research. Names changed to protect the innocent... and the guilty."

😵‍💫

Greg "The Optimist" Walsh

The new guy who walked in thinking "How bad can it be?" Now serves as the audience surrogate slowly realizing he's trapped in retail purgatory. Still believes corporate emails might make sense someday.

👩‍💼

Tina "The Overwhelmed" Rodriguez

Store manager caught between corporate's impossible demands and her team's creative interpretations of "workplace efficiency." Runs on coffee, determination, and the faint hope that tomorrow might be different.

Kevin "The Oracle" Murphy

The burnt-out veteran who's seen it all and survived by caring exactly zero percent. Dispenses wisdom through sarcasm and has perfected the art of looking busy while doing nothing.

🕵️

Randy "The Truth Seeker" Patterson

Counter guy who's convinced every automotive problem is connected to a vast conspiracy. Somehow relates check engine lights to government surveillance and oil changes to mind control.

🎤

Lil' Rotors "The Freestyle King"

Freight guy who turns mundane tasks into epic performances. Can freestyle rap about any car part and somehow makes unloading trucks feel like a concert. Often goes missing but always returns with snacks.

😅

Scott "The Well-Meaning" Johnson

Counter guy with a heart of gold and the automotive knowledge of a toaster. Always eager to help, usually makes things worse. Somehow convinced that confidence can substitute for competence.

🤦‍♂️

Dylan "The Clueless" Martinez

The other new guy who makes Greg look like a seasoned veteran. Has sold the wrong battery to the same customer three times. Still doesn't understand why people get upset about this.

🤖

Corporate "The Algorithm"

The faceless entity that sends emails demanding "Auto Parts Excellence!" while simultaneously making excellence impossible. Exists in a parallel dimension where logic goes to die.

📖 Script Explorer - Pilot Episode

Scene 1 – Meeting the Team (and Immediate Chaos)
TINA (Store Manager, yelling): "LIL' ROTORS, WHERE'S THE FREIGHT?! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CHECKED IN LAST NIGHT!" LIL' ROTORS (Freight Guy, eating a burrito): "Oh snap, I knew I forgot something…" (Tina death glares at him. Meanwhile, Kevin, the burnt-out veteran, is leaning on the counter, watching an argument unfold between Randy and a customer.) RANDY (Conspiracy Guy): "Sir, I'm telling you, the government wants your check engine light to stay on." CUSTOMER: "…I just need a gas cap." RANDY: "That's what they want you to think!" (Greg stares at the madness. Tina turns to him, flustered, trying to be professional.) TINA: "Oh, hey! You must be Greg, our new hire!" GREG (still processing): "Uh… yeah. That's me." TINA: "Great! We're short-staffed, so you're on the counter today. Kevin, show him the system." KEVIN (grumbling): "Oh, great. Another one."
Scene 2 – First Customer Disaster
CUSTOMER: "I need brakes for my Ford." GREG: "What year, model, and trim?" CUSTOMER: "Uh… it's blue." (Greg stares into the void, questioning his life choices. Kevin leans in, grinning.) KEVIN: "Welcome to the job, kid." (Behind them, another customer is carrying an entire disassembled alternator in their hands, and Greg watches as Randy starts arguing with a guy about synthetic oil being a government tracking device. Meanwhile, Lil' Rotors is casually freestyle rapping about spark plugs.)
Scene 3 – The Backroom Horror
[INT. BACKROOM – PURE CHAOS] (The backroom looks like it was hit by a hurricane. Boxes stacked dangerously high. A shelf is leaning at a 45-degree angle. A single fluorescent light flickers ominously.) (In the middle of the room, Scott (the nice-but-always-wrong counter guy) is struggling with a giant box.) SCOTT: "Oh good, you're here! Help me move this transmission!" GREG (concerned): "Wait… we sell transmissions?" SCOTT: "Oh, no. This one got delivered to us by accident. But since we have it, I figured we could sell it under the table." GREG: "…That seems illegal." SCOTT: "Only if we get caught!" (Greg slowly backs out of the room. He closes the door and stands there for a moment, staring ahead blankly.) GREG (dead inside): "This place is actually insane."
Final Scene – The Breaking Point
(At the end of the shift, Greg is destroyed. He slumps against the counter, looking at Tina.) GREG: "…How is this place still open?" TINA: "Honestly? No idea." (Greg exhales, rubbing his face. Then, corporate emails a new policy: "GREET EVERY CUSTOMER WITH 'AUTO PARTS EXCELLENCE!'") (He stares at the screen. Dead inside. He slowly turns to Kevin.) GREG: "…Do you actually say 'Auto Parts Excellence' to people?" KEVIN: "Oh, hell no. I tell them to use the self-checkout that doesn't exist." (Greg looks around. It's only Day One. And he already knows he's never getting out. The screen fades to black.) [END EPISODE]

🎮 Interactive Experiences

Explore Blimey's Store Layout

Front Counter
Warehouse
Break Room
Manager's Office
Customer Parking

🧠 Real or Fake Corporate Policy?

Can you tell the difference between real corporate policies and ones from Blimey's?

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📝 Share Your Retail Horror Story

Help us write future episodes! Share your most absurd workplace experience:

🎬 Corporate Training Modules

Experience the joy of mandatory corporate education!

▶️

Synergistic Customer Engagement

Learn to maximize customer satisfaction through blockchain-enabled small talk!

Duration: 47 minutes (could be 2 minutes)
📊

Metrics That Matter

Discover why measuring smile authenticity is crucial for quarterly profits!

Duration: 32 minutes (mostly buzzwords)
⚠️

Workplace Safety & Mindfulness

Meditation techniques for dealing with impossible corporate deadlines!

Duration: 25 minutes (ironically stressful)
💡

Innovation Through Regulation

How following 847 rules simultaneously sparks creative thinking!

Duration: 1 hour (pure chaos)

📺 Episode Guide

Welcome to the Job, Kid.

Greg thought he was starting a normal job at a parts store. Within minutes, he's knee-deep in conspiracy theories, angry customers, illegal transmissions, and coworkers powered by chaos and caffeine.

Blimey's Parts & Wrecks is a workplace comedy set in a barely-surviving auto parts store — and Greg is the poor soul trying to survive his first day.

🎬 Episode 1 Highlights:

• "It's blue" - The customer request that breaks Greg's brain
• Kevin's survival philosophy: "Don't die"
• Randy's government oil conspiracy
• Scott's black market transmission operation
• Corporate's "Auto Parts Excellence!" mandate
• The backroom that defies physics

Season 1 Episode Guide

Episode 1: "Welcome to the Job, Kid"

Greg's first day spirals from optimism to existential dread as he discovers that "blue Ford" is apparently a valid car model and his coworkers live in parallel dimensions of chaos.

PILOT • Runtime: 22 min • Guest Star: Reality (as itself)

Episode 2: "Rock the Call (In 3 Rings or Less)"

All 8 phone lines ring during the lunch rush with only Kevin and Greg on duty. Corporate picks this moment to send a mystery shopper. Kevin picks this moment to take his break.

The phone system episode everyone's been waiting for

Episode 3: "Low Price Guarantee (Terms Apply)"

A customer wants to price match a fictional website. The computer crashes. The manager's gone. Greg discovers the policy manual contradicts itself 47 times on the same page.

Special Guest: The Price Match System (posthumously)

Episode 4: "Optimized Staffing Solutions"

Corporate cuts the schedule to two people during Black Friday. Lil' Rotors turns the chaos into a freestyle rap battle. Customers start taking sides.

Musical episode featuring "Spark Plug Symphonies"

Episode 5: "The Blue Ford Saga"

The "blue Ford" customer returns with friends. They all drive different blue cars. None of them know what year, make, or model they drive. Randy smells a conspiracy.

The episode that launched a thousand memes

Episode 6: "Corporate Excellence Initiative"

Regional management visits to implement "Auto Parts Excellence!" Greg learns the greeting must be sung. Kevin pretends to be a customer. Tina stress-eats the office snacks.

Guest appearance by actual O'Reilly's policies

Episode 7: "The Transmission Incident"

Scott's black market transmission operation escalates when the "delivery truck" turns out to be his cousin's pickup. Greg questions his life choices. The transmission gains sentience.

Based on a true story (allegedly)

Episode 9: "Conference Champions"

Tina returns from a week-long corporate "leadership summit" (aka vacation with buzzwords) full of revolutionary ideas like "customer-centric excellence." Then she goes on real vacation.

Based on the eternal corporate conference cycle

Episode 10: "Optimization Vacation"

All the managers return from vacation and immediately cut everyone's hours to "improve efficiency metrics." The store is busier than ever. Greg learns to clone himself out of necessity.

Store of the Year achievement unlocked during maximum chaos

Why Blimey's Will Be Your Next Hit

In an era where workplace comedy is king and audiences crave authentic, relatable content, Blimey's Parts & Wrecks delivers both heart and humor. It's the animated series that says what everyone's thinking about modern corporate culture.

85M+

Americans work in retail

Corporate absurdities to satirize

💰

Built-in merchandising goldmine

🎯

Multi-generational appeal

🎪 Why Now?

• Post-Pandemic Relevance: Everyone's questioning workplace culture
• Animation Boom: Adult animation is having its golden age
• Universal Appeal: Retail workers exist everywhere
• Meme Potential: Built-in viral content with corporate absurdities
• Franchise Ready: Mobile game, podcast, merchandise opportunities

Let's Make TV Magic

Ready to bring corporate chaos to the small screen? Let's talk about making Blimey's Parts & Wrecks the next must-watch animated series.

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📧 Connect With Us

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